And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
