So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
