so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
