well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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