I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize