summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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