if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize