I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
