get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize