dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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