I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
