My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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