Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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