Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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