??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize