Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
