IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
