I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
