Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
