dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
