dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
