I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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