so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
