the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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