Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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