This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
