just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
