I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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