I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
