Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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