i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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