if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
