I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
