She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
