Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
