I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
