I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
