dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
this hospital has no fireball
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
