You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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