I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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