Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
