Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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