Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
