I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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