how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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