it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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