there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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