My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just had sex on a roof
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
