You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
