I heard we made out
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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