Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
