Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
