woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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