update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
