Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
