problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
