All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
