dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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